Writing

How to Pick The Best Restaurant to Fight With Your Mother In Every Time She’s In Town (Reductress): “The taste of the food won’t really matter because at the end of the day you and your mom are both cry-yelling at a tiny table in a reservations-only restaurant. Fuck it — get a salad!”

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Wow! This Man Fell Off a Motorcycle Because He Wouldn’t Touch Another Man’s Hips (Reductress): “In hindsight, Ames realized the biggest concern was that a hot, sexy woman would see him touching another man. ‘I don’t even hug my dad in public,’ he told reporters from his hospital bed before being intubated. ‘Obviously I just didn’t want to risk it.’”

My Boyfriend Is Perfect, Except for His Inverted Ass (Reductress): “The other day we had a picnic in the park together, laid on a blanket, and shared our hopes for the future. I found myself getting lost in his eyes, and when I wasn’t paying attention, my phone somehow got itself lost in the abyss of his ass.”

I Accidentally Took Lora’s Uber Home, So… I Became Lora (Little Old Lady Comedy): “My driver Rahul turned around when I didn’t get out right away. “Have a good night, Lora.” Lora? Lora. And that was it. From then on, she was me.”

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I Accidentally Paid $5.75 for a Latte and Now That’s Most of My Personality (The Pink Canoe): "By 9am, I had already told three people. One person twice."

‘It’s the Only Time I Can Go to the Gym This Week!’ Morgan Misses Another Protest (The Pink Canoe): "'Sure – it’s a little embarrassing that I haven’t actually made it to any protests yet, but I’m still like, someone who WOULD, if that makes sense?'"

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